She is a child that potty trained at 18 months, but whom I had to remind twice a day until she was four that she needed to go poop. A daughter needed to be reminded to eat her food, otherwise she would sit and stare off into lala land. A baby that after a half hour of sucking on her bottle, I would find had not drank one sip and had spent the whole time staring at me with her big brown eyes.
I have not always parented her well. I was conditioned by having a first born named Josiah, his name meaning "fire of the Lord," whose lightning speed capabilities trained me to always have to be thinking 10 steps ahead, and still find him passing me up. A son that rode his tricycle on a 3 & 1/2 mile ride from our townhouse to Pastini Pastaria for dinner, when he was only 3. I often felt in the middle of these two with one arm trying to catch up to my son and the other arm reaching back to help my daughter keep up. They are extremely different and God created them so special and unique. I can't wait to see what they do in life.
I often have thought about how my children would come to Jesus, and make it their own choice. As a mom, I have never wanted them to make that decision just to please Nick and I, but to teach them about it, and have it be a decision that when they made it, they could stand on that decision knowing it was their choice.
A few years back I asked Josiah when he was in bed if he had ever thought about asking Jesus to be his savior, and to forgive his sins. Josiah went into an in depth conversation explaining everything that he believed to be true, and told me he had already asked Jesus to be His Savior, several times actually. So I confirmed that choice, and knew he understood it, he had it.
With Ava, I just assumed, well, maybe she has made that decision at church. She talks about it. She knows about it. But then I began to wonder, had she ever personally before the Lord made that decision. He impressed upon me a few weeks ago, that I needed to ask her about it. But I forgot about it and the thought was laid to the side.
Today, I was having a mama hormone filled morning, and became that woman I don't recognize. I was very poorly going through my responsibilities with Josiah and Ava doing our Thursday homeschool day. I got overwhelmed with one of Josiah's assignments that I didn't know how to do and I flew off the handle with much drama. After crying and apologizing and calming down a little and Josiah figuring out what he needed to do without my help, we sat down to do Bible time.
Then I got the nudge. God reminded me, "you need to ask her." As we wrapped up with Bible time, I looked at Ava, and I asked her, "Ava, do you know what it means to have Jesus be your Savior and Lord of your life and to follow Him?" She explained very sweetly what she knew. Then I asked her, "Ava, have you asked him?" and her face changed and she replied, "No I haven't." We talked a little more, and her cousin Alyia talked to her about it. We told her that when you make the decision to follow Christ that God sends His spirit into her life to help her make choices and to seek God with her life. And then I asked her, "Ava is that something you want to do?" She very seriously responded, "Yes I do." Then I told her it was her choice, and she needed to do it, I couldn't do it for her.
That's when it happened. I saw her bow her head, and begin to pray for Jesus to come into her life, and forgive her sins, and that she wanted to follow Him. And as she prayed beautiful tears started streaming down her cheeks. It was one of the most beautiful moments I have ever witnessed.
When she was done praying and still crying, I asked her what the tears were for. And she told me that they were tears over her sins that she has done. That's when we started celebrating. Because we got to tell her that her sins are now washed whiter than snow. And I saw my beautiful daughter's face light up in a way I have never seen before. And she began to understand the decision that she just made.
We celebrated at lunch with pretty donuts, and a headband crown that our new princess of the King got to wear, and a few gifts that Josiah and I had picked out for her, and we sang happy birthday to her for her new birth.
I texted Nick telling him to call when he could, because Ava needed to tell him something. She got to talk to her daddy and tell him, and Nick texted me after, and told me, "you know what is funny? I already knew before she called."
It was such a beautiful gift to see! God answered my prayer for Ava. That it would be her own choice that she could stand on. And watching her talk to her Savior, she understood completely the choice she was making.
So I am happy to announce that on this day, November 8th, 2012, I have a new sister in the Lord, and her name is Ava Mae Hope Adams.