I have decided I am a trip sabotage mode right now.
I know I know, when you hear this, you will feel very sorry for me, I am sure :P
So, I really haven't been on a vacation - like a good real vacation, since before I was pregnant with the twins. We have done little weekend trips, but a trip a way, to go do what I love to do - explore places, walk around and take pictures and see things and eat food and shop and learn new things. Living in the same place your whole life will definitely create a desire for traveling...
Nick got an extra week of vacation last year added to his benefits for working at Intel 10 years now. (Like I said, I know how bad you are going to start feeling for me!) Last year he used it for going on a mission trip to Haiti. The other time off was used at Christmas(which actually he got really sick for two weeks and we stayed home and let him recover), and also on a trip that he went on with his side of the family, with Josiah and Ava, while I last minute stayed home and took Mallory to the hospital for an emergency surgery for an infection.
This year, he has offered me this week. I have a budget. I could go with the family, I could go with a friend and he would stay and watch the kids, I could go with him... well, no, see this is where the trip sabotage begins to come into play.
So, I thought I would write out my great ideas, and share how I am sabotaging each one.
First dream ideal vacation: Trip to the East Coast. I have never been before, think the fall would be a lovely time of year to go back. They even have a cruise you can go on - how cool would that be! I have lots of different scattered thoughts on my list - like go to Serendipity's for dessert in New York, see a Broadway show, go on a run through central park - and visit the place that the World Trade Center Towers once stood. Or visit DC. Or Boston... or or or...
but hmmm... I have 4 kids. Do I really want to haul four little children around the east coast. Or maybe this is a shelf dream that I need to stack back on the top out of reach shelf until our children would be old enough to appreciate it more.
Sure would be nice to take Nick - but oh yes, we have four amazing children - and with the time it takes to fly to and from east coast, plus the amount of days to make that trip worth it, would I really want to be a part from them for that long, and who would watch them...
But maybe a friend... but who is free - we all have children :) The options get checked off the list and then hmmm...
well, Yes, need to stack this dream back up on the shelf for a later time.
So, well, we could go to Victoria... that kind of would have a New England flavor to it - I have been there once before. But would the kids really like it? And I can't find the perfect rental home that has the right amount of bedrooms, the right price and the right location and the right atmosphere inside (I am all about what things look like on the inside). And renting a hotel room for 6 is really hard...
Hmmm... I think I have sabotaged this idea too.
Disney land or Disney world. We went on our honeymoon to Disney world. Would be a lot of fun.... but oh yes, 2 babies with nap times and it sure would be nice to have a nanny to take a long with us so we could go out at night. And there is the fact that we have been to a Disney location for 5 times since we have been married for vacation. I think this mama is a little disneyed out and would like to wait until the twins are old enough to appreciate it before we go again. Although I did find the CUTEST rental house that does happen to be available the week of our anniversary/my birthday.
So there is San Diego - Josiah really wants to go to Lego land. I would love to go back to Seaworld when it's not so hot. But again - girls need naps, it sure would be nice to have a nanny to take with us. Do I really want to spend all the money to go to San Diego. I just don't know... and if we went, airfare isn't as cheap right now - would we dare road trip it? With two toddlers that have just been potty trained... but it sure would be nice to have our minivan...
Or Hawaii! Nick has never been - he would LOVE it.
Except that he would need to use sunscreen and the girls would need to use sunscreen and I am majorly allergic to sunscreen and do not want to get hives while I am on a tropical island. Maybe all 6 of us could just go to a tanning salon for a month and all build up tans so we wouldn't get fried when we are there? I wonder how young you can be to use a tanning bed? ;) (just kidding just kidding... I would never take my babies to go do that, although I would definitely insist that Nick should!)
Sigh... would hate to leave the little girls with someone, and have them revert back on potty training. Right now Lena has me trained that I have to sit next to her, without making eye contact with her while she poops - or else she freaks out and screams... which then leads to constipation... Yeah... got to figure out how to change that up.
See - wow, I am negative about every option! And that is just the basic ideas. Throw me new ideas, I will tear them down.
I am so grateful for a God that loves me, regardless of my negativity, and is patient with me. It's not my job to bless myself. It's my job to seek Him and find out what He wants me to do daily, and with this opportunity that Nick has offered me. To see how God wants me to use it. I am praying about it, and definitely wanting His will, His best - because if I try to take control of it, every time I am left with discord and NO PEACE.
So I am going to keep lifting it up to Him in prayer - and waiting to see what we will do with this extra time off. I know He does not want me to worry about it. Sure, pursue ideas, pray about them, ask Him, but don't let it consume my thoughts and time. A vacation will not satisfy - not one I plan. But God will satisfy, and if He chooses to show us how to use that time as a vacation going somewhere, then that will satisfy too because HE is in it.
And who knows, maybe HE plans to bless us in a completely different way and we will just stay at home and use the money to get a puppy dog instead :) :) :) Maybe that idea might motivate my honey to become proactive in vacation idea suggestions!!! LOL I love you Nick.
Anyways, just sharing my thoughts for the day. Hope you all are enjoying your summer time!