Monday, July 18, 2011

Grieving

I wanted to share one other short lesson that the Lord showed me during my infertility time. 

Grieving. 

When we chose the path for adoption, I was so excited!   Finally no more brick wall that I couldn't kick down.  We were on a fast track that I could barely keep up with and it was so freeing. 

But every once in awhile I would have a moment. 

A moment where my heart would ache over the loss of surrendering not being able to get pregnant on my own. 
A moment where I would not get to feel the baby inside me and know it intimately that way. 
A thought where I would ache that I would not get to wear all those cute maternity clothes that I would see my other friends wearing. 
That I wouldn't be carrying a child in my body to show out of an act of love between my husband and I. 

And God showed me, it was okay to grieve those losses.  I would have my time to cry, to ache over the hurt.  The stings of the reality that pregnancy was something that was not to be for me.  And He also showed me, that I was not to be consumed by the grief.  That when those moments came, that I could tend to those heart aches with HIM, but once I had, I needed to let it go and keep moving on towards the different dream that God was calling me to. 

So, that is what I would share about with grieving.  If you are in a spot that you are grieving the loss of a dream or something even much more deeper than that, it's okay to grieve.  Just don't let it consume you that you would miss out on the different plans that God has for your life. 

Real basic stuff, but it is just a little lesson that God taught me the last summer I would spend childless.

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